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Men & Women Jokes
Gender Jokes are a funny and humorous way of men
ridiculing women and women answering them in the same vein. These sex
wars include comments and satire on eccentricities specific to both the
genders, how they express themselves and the relationships that they
share with each other such as marriages, mutual attraction and conflicts
in general. Here are some jokes for you:
- On returning home from office, a newly-wedded man heard his wife
chatting away on phone using words like 'small' and 'short'. In the
night, as the couple was getting ready for bed, the man asked the
woman not to use such adjectives and use only adjectives like
'large' and 'big' in her sentences. Later, the wife sweetly asked
her husband - "I wish it had been large and big."
- Two married friends went on a drinking binge together and one of
them started his tale of woe. He said, "Whenever I go home late
at night after spending some time with my friends at a bar, I turn
the headlights and engine off before and coast the car in my garage
very very silently. I sneak up the stairs only after taking off my
shoes and ease very slowly in bed. Still, my wife wakes up and all
heal breaks loose as she starts screaming at me for drinking and for
being out so late!" His friend gave him a long meaningful stare
and said, "Mate, try my method. I screech into the driveway,
slam all doors noisily, storm up the steps, throw my clothes and
shoes all over the place as I undress and then jump into the bed and…my
wife is always sound asleep."
- Comparison of what women want in men and what they get:
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Ideal Traits In Men For Women |
What It Means In Reality |
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Artistic |
Is able to find matching socks. |
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Athletic |
Can get up to get his own seconds. |
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Classy |
Puts back his Playboy in the hidden drawer. |
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Communicates well |
Answers phone. |
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Considerate |
Has learned to splatter less and leave seat up sometimes. |
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Faithful |
Would let you know of his flings. |
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Hopelessly romantic |
Will remember to buy roses for you. |
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Intellectual |
Reads ‘Playboy’. |
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Interested in women who have brains |
Has learned to look to the face of the women sometimes while
talking to her instead of her chest. |
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Loves kids and pets |
Will not throw away a crying kid and had a snake once. |
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Sensitive |
Acknowledges the fact that you are crying. |
- Women’s Guide on how to deal with men:
- A man’s mind is too little to wander out alone for long.
- A neat and spotless housework has never been the reason why
men have ever loved women, so leave the chores then and there.
- Bachelor is the man who has missed the opportunity to make
some woman miserable.
- There are as many reasons as there are men for not sleeping
with them.
- When your boyfriend walks out on you, shut the door.
- Women never make fools of men. They are mostly do-it-yourself
types.
- You can change a man, only if he is in diapers.
- Younger men are just fine. Men never mature anyway.
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